I wonder sometimes, is it my introversion
that makes me crazy or is it my anxiety. I believe it is both. In a
world filled with extroverts, one being my husband... it becomes hard
not to feel like people think I am a weirdo. Thanks to the internets....
lol I have been able to google and figure out that I am not alone in my
struggles.
Maybe
you have an anxiety riddled introvert in your life, or maybe YOU are
the anxiety riddled introvert. I wanted to just share a few things that
send me into full on nuts mode just because it has helped me to read
other people's blogs/posts about what they deal with. It is always a
comfort to know you are not the only one <3
Here is my little list:
1.) Fear of running into someone you know.
Say
I am grocery shopping... and I run into someone I know, but not well,
or have not seen them in years. This will cause me to turn and run,
attempting to hide. If it is not possible to get away, the awkward small
talk starts and I wish I could teleport out of there. I do not dislike
them, I just do not want to do the SMALL TALK THING. As an introvert I
like meaningful conversations. And as someone with social anxiety, I am
panicking wondering what to say to make this as quick and not awkward as
possible.
2.) Phone Calls
There
are actually two parts to this one. First, I hate speaking on the
phone. I prefer text or email always. Even with family. This is how
introverts are comfortable talking. It isn't that we don't like you, we
just don't want to talk on the phone. So please hang up and text us.
Secondly, it is pretty much impossible to work in a field where
answering phones and not knowing what crazy question is coming. The
level of anxiety that comes from this literally breaks me out in a rash
and makes me itch.
3.) Big Social Gatherings
No.
Just No. Particularly if it is people I have never met, or do not know
well at all. Primary example is hanging out at big gatherings with my
husbands friends. Most of them have known each other for life and I dare
say are very clique like. It is very awkward for me to attend any kind
of event where I am awkwardly standing around with nobody to talk to or
the usual small talk that makes me crazy. I like to be
around people who seem to like me. If I feel iced out, I want to run. If
there is an elderly person I go talk to them. If there are kids, I play
with kids. If there are pets around... you can find me scratching the
dogs belly or petting the cat. Ugh.... animals are so much more
enjoyable than people, right?
4.) Interviews and Performance Jobs
Wanting
a new job? Oh that interview thing will send me into a frenzy. I get so
nervous. Any setting where I am on stage and have to perform is
excruciating. Interviews are rough. But worse than interviews, is having
a job where you are expected to perform. By perform I mean conduct a
service in front of a customer, answer a phone and be able to answer a
wide array of crazy questions, public speaking, basically anything that
requires customer service etc. I actually break out in an itchy rash
when under pressure. If the person is one of those who cannot be pleased
it is even worse. I did ok as a school teacher, but other jobs were
very hard. I tried insurance once, and the phone gave me an anxiety
attack daily. An ideal job for me would be one that I could get away
with communicating through email only and work from home :) Still trying
to find that gig.
For
now, this is all I can think of. I wish so badly that I didn't have
this type of anxiety. It is hard enough to be an introvert, because you
feel drained by people. You lose so much energy... so adding social
anxiety to it, or general anxiety... and you get a big problem on your
hands.
